Liberator 4.4
Thoughts to Ponder:  The Power of Apology.
words: Asha Taylor
 

The Senate recently passed Resolution 39—an apology for the Senate’s failure to pass anti-lynching legislation to outlaw the act that claimed the lives of some 5,000 Americans, mostly Blacks, between the 1880s and 1960s (and as quiet as it’s kept, an act that still occurs today on a much smaller scale.)

Present at this apology, held in the LBJ (Lyndon B. Johnson) room in the Capitol Building, which was decorated with photos from Allen’s Without Sanctuary, was 91-year-old James Cameron—the only known survivor of a lynching. As I listened to this gem’s testimony of being wrongly accused of robbing a white couple, killing the man and raping the woman, I began to relive it with him.  Jailed at age 16 in Indiana.  Drug out of the jail with his two friends.  Beaten with pick handles and clubs.  Seeing the swinging, bloodied bodies of his two friends.  Being humiliated in front of an audience of men, women, and children, eating, laughing, and yelling for his life to be choked out of him. Having the coarse rope put around his neck.  Fearing the end and THEN! A man says, “He’s INNOCENT!”  Stumbling in shock back to the jail, to serve 4 years for a crime not committed, the thanks to God begins.  And so does the trauma.

Although this man remarkably showed no signs of hostility and boasted leading a happy, healthy life after the experience, especially having married a “pretty girl,” I couldn’t help but to think, “What does this apology really mean to him and the other family members here?” Then, I began to wonder…what does an apology ever mean?

It must mean a great deal to the eight senators that refused to sign the resolution. For them, an apology was a little too much, huh?  But was it enough to the families that suffered sadness, grief, fear, and pain?  Was it enough for the tear-filled gasps of the victims as they realized who their “god” had become?  IS it enough for those who suffer these fates now, although often ruled as suicide? What does “sorry” do for parentless children?  The women left unprotected as their husbands and sons disappeared among deranged screams and dark woods?  Once you hurt someone, that’s it.  Right??

Do words actually have the power to heal when there is nothing that can be done to correct the consequences of an action or inaction? Usually a pain is inflicted that even retaliation and revenge can’t soothe.  It doesn’t replace what was stolen or taken.  After the healing process has begun, an apology seems unnecessary and almost comical.  Even accepting the apology seems to be more an act of politeness than forgiveness.  The words are dead.  And still, so many people have a problem apologizing—maybe for this very reason.

Why is the Senate apologizing now? Is it a strategic political move to win the Black vote?  Is it because they suddenly became aware of one of the many skeletons lurking in America’s closet and were convicted of the history which the government has so unapologetically hailed for so long?  Or is this group really trying to move this country forward by first acknowledging that the past DID HAPPEN?  It’s possible.  On the surface, apologies appear to be therapeutic to the apologizer rather than the apologized-to.  It allows the person who did wrong to exhibit an act of humility—a rare trait these days.  And justifiably so since sometimes egos are inflated just to cope with others’ oversized egos. 

The apology eases the guilt of the perpetrator because the ball is no longer in his/her court. S/he assumes there is nothing else to be done.  But there is always something more believable than words: actions.  Does the U.S. Senate realize this?  Perhaps one component of apologies is how it challenges the victim to forgive, and maybe even understand others.  I guess, in my idealistic mind, it’d be better if we could try to be more careful in observing ourselves: words, actions, and attitudes, and not rely so much on apologies to clean up the hearts and lives we (un)knowingly wreck because usually it comes a dollar short and a day late.  At the same time, it’s a fact that humans do disappoint. No one is perfect.  NO country.  NO history.  NO culture.

I looked around the room and saw the faces of the family members of victims—myself among them. We were all there, so somewhere deep down we must have felt that the apology was worth something.  It was saying, “This should not have happened and we’re terribly sorry that it did.”  Even if not sincere, the words were planted and all of us will be watching to make sure the actions are consistent.

But we won’t be surprised if they aren’t.