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When it comes to work,
black women have never been afraid of putting their noses to the
grindstone. In fact during slavery women were often expected to work
just as hard as men despite being members of the “weaker” sex. The
Post-Reconstruction Era in America forced thousands of black men into
the sharecropping system and black women trudged along with children in
tow. Other black women worked outside the home as domestics and
laundresses. My very own aunt was a domestic for 25 years in the red
clay country of South Carolina. But the work ethic of black women from
yesterday is different from the career mindedness of them today.
But why are black men calling it quits? Look back into black history;
look at the traditional roles of men and women and understand why the
phenomenon of career-oriented black women is affecting male/female
relationships in the community.
Despite the effects of slavery on the black family structure many black
men hold traditional hierarchal ideas on the relationship between man
and woman. In the community where maleness is challenged both in the
home and in the larger society constantly, there is the idea that in
asserting one’s maleness one also needs to emphasize the females
“otherness” or inferior position to the male. Obviously, social
standards of the past reflected these roles of men and women. Women
stayed home while men faced the world. Even those women who did work
held odd jobs, not professional careers. And oftentimes these positions
were an extension of a hobby or innocuous interest.
David Blocker, a 10th grader, feels that today both men and women must
learn to deal with male/female role revisions, “My ego would be hurt a
little if my wife made more than me but if she’s goal-oriented she’s
gonna have to deal with the fact that I might make more than her
(because I’m a man), so it goes both ways.
But what happens when the woman is career driven and the man isn’t?
Resurrection Graves, a poet and songwriter from D.C. who is also a
single mother, feels that her career has affected black men on a deeper
level. “Some men are intimidated by the fact that I have goals because
they don’t know what they want to do for the rest of their lives. It’s
discouraging (to them) to deal with somebody who does.” No question, it
must be noted that a job is a job. Anyone can get one and keep one, but
a career is something different that requires more and that is what is
intimidating. However, the role of mother for black women is not one
that many black men want them to leave behind. Graves laughs like she
has been there, “Women taking care of the home is always gonna be in the
back of a man’s mind.”
A greater number of black women than men are entering corporate America
breaking through the glass ceiling on sheer numbers alone simply because
black men still aren’t going to college at the same rate as their female
counterparts. Still, for many black men it is very important for them to
make more money than their partner. These factors contribute to the
differences in opinion among black men concerning their woman’s place.
Mike Stewart, Jr., a twenty-year old undergraduate student majoring in
Economics and Administration of Justice, understands that these
differences in opinion have a lot to do with background and demographics
well. “It’s relative to an individual’s upbringing,” said Stewart. While
more traditionally raised men might feel threatened by a woman’s
ambition, “men more acclimated to urban society understand the dynamic
that there are more women making more money in aggregate terms.” On why
there is this notion that most black men are being frightened away by
the rise in women professional, Danielle Murat, an actress and
screenplay writer from New York City explains, “It’s because of the
stereotypes, it’s a balance of power, always, anything that threatens a
man’s power also threatens his manhood.” This defiance of a man’s
manhood also leads to inner conflict. “There could be this thought, ‘She
may be getting there quicker than I am’ amongst men.”
Regardless of all the misconceptions concerning women pursuing
professional goals there is still the reality that black women have
lagged behind in the feminist movement and the surge in career-minded
black women is partly due to this realization. Ashasha Becks feels it is
more of a necessity than anything else. “We should be. We need to be.
We’re already late in the game. This is just a continuance of black
women’s understanding that they need to gain the respect they deserve.”
If making a name for themselves is what black women deserve and aspire
to, black men should be behind them one-hundred percent. And for those
who aren’t? In life, a woman can either pursue her goals or compromise. |
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