How to Survive a Clusterfunk by Farai Chideya

[achali]

SOURCE
http://www.faraichideya.com/how-to-survi...usterfunk/

How to Survive a Clusterfunk

Hey, you. Yeah, you. Come over here. I wanna tell you something.

Things will not always suck.

I know you’re thinking: who is she to tell me that?

Just a person. Just another a survivor of a job/economic/relocation/other-drama-inspired Clusterfunk. Clusterfunk, inspired by a somewhat more vulgar term used frequently among the journalist tribe, is my invented term for what happens when the rug gets pulled out from under you and you get all emotionally, financially, even physically worn out and ground down. It’s a combination of circumstances (beyond or within your control, but seemingly impossible to resolve) and the desire to maintain a facade that everything is fine.

I got let go from my job in early 2009, and in my attempt to get all mavericky and do projects I really cared about, I took a financial thrashing. I expected that I would have to do a lot of work for a while for no money, I just didn’t expect this phase would last so long. But it’s all good: more than good. I’m getting to do some great journalism and work on new projects that inspire me every day… and, yes, getting paid to do it. My dear, wise friends in the business world complimented me on getting my new Plan A together so fast. To me, it’s seemed like a millenium. And therein lies one way that clusters stress can bring on a funky mood. We expect there to be some timeline by which everything is resolved, and sometimes patience and persistence beyond even our wildest dreams are required. As a writer, I think of the patience and persistence of people ranging from Harry Potter series author J.K. Rowling (now a billionaire) to Dune author Frank Herbert. Each of them had their landmark books rejected a dozen or more times.

Signs that you are in the middle of a Clusterfunk:

1) It’s not just one stone rolling at you, it’s an avalanche. Perhaps a job loss sets off a housing loss which sets off a situation where you have to sell some things you felt attached to (like a car), and then your dog dies or someone you love gets sick. It’s like that Calgon take-me-away commercial taken to Defcon 7.

2) You begin to identify with your circumstances in ways that are detrimental to your emotional health. We’re told in this culture to celebrate ourselves for being wealthy or successful, but too often not told how to celebrate ourselves just for being alive and staying in the game. No matter whether you have a job or not, a great house (or a house at all) or not, it’s time to reclaim a sense of just being thankful to be you.

3) Things begin to blur from individual problems into one giant life suckage.

So how do you get through it? Here’s a few strategies:

1) Celebrate you. You can curse the darkness, but also light a friggin’ candle and sing yourself an ode to joy. Do something that makes you happy (and is within your budget), whether it’s cooking a great meal or pretending to be a tourist in your hometown and just walking and taking in the sights. Write down things you adore about yourself. Look yourself in the mirror and even if you don’t believe it at the moment, tell yourself how fantastic you are.

2) Separate huge masses of crud into small bits of crud, and then be proactive in cleaning up the crud. For example, if you have a massive pile of bills, take them and order them by priority. Instead of getting into a cycle of waiting for someone to call and yell at you, be proactive and call and explain when you will most likely to be able to pay, or simply that you are willing to pay but can’t right now. Or go to a reputable financial counselor and then actually listen to his or her advice. That’s a financial context (and there are many experts like Ariel Capital’s Mellody Hobson which can be more constructive about finance) but the idea of honesty with yourself and wise disclosure to others is critical.

The thing that strikes me about Clusterfunks is that incremental solutions begin to seem meaningless. If a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, the Clusterfunk mentality tells you that not taking any steps at all is somehow a victory. That’s the way I used to think about exercise when I was clusterfunking. I would literally look at chubby people running and say “What’s the point? They’re not thin.” (No, really, I thought that.) That was defeatist thinking on so many levels. Now I jog, and I don’t care if I am slow and don’t look cute plodding along. I feel good.

3) Downsize if you have to, or if you want to. As Erykah Badu sings, “Pack light.” Less stuff is less stuff to worry about.

4) Take small bites of reality. You’ll finish your to-do list slow and steady. Don’t forget to take time to dream. Many people have survived on dreams when they had nothing else. Most of us are fortunate enough to have many material things in this world, but none of them are a substitute for a belief that there is more than this time and this space and this moment.

So uplift yourself, follow that dream (and remember that it may take a different form than you first expected). Clusterfunk-be-gone and keep on keeping on.

[nikki]

nice. thanks for posting. needed to read somethin like this.
i had to catch myself the other day and remind myself where my real worth lies. so easy to get pushed down by the circumstantial things not seeming to go in a direction we want...