Family Structure

[JJ]

ok so this got a lot longer than I thought... :roll:

In the past 5 years I have noticed the lack of family structure more than ever (because it has hit me directly in my family but also many cases of close friends)...it is nothing new, it has happened since who knows but I wonder about the increasing numbers and what at least for me was uncommon becoming common. Thus, somehow making it ok? .... Fathers leaving their children and mothers having the responsibility of the children. Financially, emotionally, and everything in-between.
I reflected back to my years in high school and out of my core group of friends (10 girls including myself) only 2 of us had both parents. Many of them had nothing to do with their fathers. Now out of those core group of girls, 4 years out of high school 7 of them have children some multiples and none of them have fathers that are active in the lives of their children...
I am speaking about the effect this has on the children, because these children are the future as corny as that sounds...
But not only that it boggles me that people do not take responsibility of their actions...
I wonder if I am the only one who believes in the union of man and women and child anymore, is that not the ideal family? I know a women can do just fine alone, it can be done (let me be sarcastic and truthful at the same time; Women are the stronger sex in many aspects). Many children who come from single-family homes can achieve great things but it is that much harder on all parties involved. Do children really need to go through rejection so early in their lives? Do they need to suffer in pain?
Then another subject that comes to me when thinking of the up bringing of children is...men that cheat... How does this affect the children? Boys watching their fathers do it, making it somehow ok to do. Thus, when they are married it being ok, or even just normal relationships that you have before marriage.... cheating is not ok for health reasons but emotional too. To disrespect another human is not ok. What about treating people the way you would like to be treated? Did that just get thrown away and no one told me. Geeze, I can go on and on about this just had to let it out.... I am trying to write on this and this is very rough but let me know what you think? I was thinking maybe creating a column called family structure and posing questions and opening it up to all who want to share their stories and discuss what family structure is and its importance...I believe the family structure is very important and it is our childhood that creates who we become and as much as we may not want to admit it we become very similar to the people we are around the most meaning our parent(s) and if we can see the faults in our parents shouldn’t you want to fix that so that the next generation of your family be that much stronger in all aspects…

Oh and here’s some of what I scrambeled…

The Family Structure: The importance of having a “good” father figure

Don’t get offended this is my opinion and an observation that has been witnessed in my life and the lives of so many others. Throughout history or better said for this topic herstory they begin the same…a relationship between a man and a women and “love” and as many start the same in this day and age the once uncommon end has become common for so many. So common that somehow, it’s become ok. Women left alone to take the responsibility of raising children on there own, being left because men have to find themselves, being left with no word at all, being left for another, or even more unfortunate living with a man who is unfaithful. This is not intended to be a form of men bashing, I am just calling it the way I see it. But more importantly letting all the men who do not see or ignore the importance of being a good father and good husband see the situation in a different light.
And before I begin I am not talking to all the “good” fathers, the ones that have tried to be there for their children but somehow fell through the cracks of the system and lost there privileges of being there for their children. I am also not disregarding the fact that women also leave their children to their fathers. I am speaking to the masses that share the story that I have addressed in the beginning.
I once asked a friend “why do men run?” His response was “because so many have ran before him”. As I pondered that, I shook my head and said “it doesn’t make it right”; he agreed but didn’t have much else to say since he has never been in the situation and could only try to make sense out of something that doesn’t make sense.
I believe it begins with taking responsibility for actions that are made once sex either for love or not has procreated another. That topic alone can take on its on debate but this is not intended for that. In this day and age many children are being raised in single mother homes. Why? Men have run. What happens then? Women have to take the responsibility of raising a child on their own. Women trying there hardest to be both mother and father. Can it be done? Yes and/or no? I have witnessed accomplished individuals that were raised only by their mothers but I have also witnessed their pain that is stamped in their hearts. It comes through in different ways for each individual. For some it shows through in their own relationships having to go through one unstable relationship after another. Or never having what everyone wants in terms of a relationship, a healthy, loving, and respectable relationship. Others repeat the cycle and run. While others get caught up in other situations that may very well be prevented if the guidance of a “good” father was there.
The father figure is key to the upbringing of children. Men, you need to know this and if you don’t I am telling you this, who am I, a daughter that needed her father growing up. It is crucial to sons and daughters to know and have relationships with their fathers. Stop all the excuses and take charge. Both sons and daughters go through life and struggles arise and as all children they do what they see. A father leaves a son, chances are if the situation comes where he impregnates a girl he to will leave. Why? His father did it. Does it make it right, no? How does a daughter know what to look for in a potential husband if she doesn’t know what a husband is? How does she distinguish “game”?


Amor y paz